Just Another Update

The wedding is over - and I didn't go. Andrea told me Breezy asked where I was and she told her I was under the weather. I'm fine with that. You know, I REALLY hope she proves me wrong and is a wonderful, committed wife and mother who contributes to the household bills and doesn't cheat on my brother. I really hope I'm wrong about her.

We are starting to plan for Andrea's graduation party - I think she might actually complete her high school career! I've decided to go all out for her because I'm pretty sure she will never have another graduation. I just don't see her handling college, not with all the coddling she's gotten from her parents, teachers and social workers. She's so use to getting to do things her way, she has no idea how to be a team player and do things the way others expect (professors, employers, etc.) So, in three weeks I hope to have a house full of Andrea supporters congratulating her on her success.

Next week end we head to Hermann to attend Samantha Englert's wedding. Unlike George's nuptials, I'm looking forward to this wedding. Samantha could be such a role model to Andrea - she's done everything right. Still need to get the pets situated for the week end; I'll ask George to check on kitties and Tom to puppysit Bailey.

I'm still communicating with Susanna via Facebook message. Not sure where this is leading and I'm not sure where I hope it goes. I am totally stymied by the whole thing.

Family Drama

Heavy sigh.

I had gotten used to not having a sister in my life - had reminded myself I have only brothers. Then a Facebook message pops up from Susanna. It said she misses me and loves me. WTF?

I sat on it for a few days and responded, saying I only want her to be happy and if that means living five miles away and never seeing one another, then that's what it means. Even told her I love her and the girls.

A few days later she responds - how are things going, how are you feeling? WTF - Part II.

I haven't responded. Truth be told, having her not in my world has made my life that much less stressful. I can't go back to trying (unsuccessfully, I know) bite my tongue around the girls when they tell me the latest stupid thing Susanna and Jackass have done or said. I can't go back to living on eggshells around them. I can't go back to what I finally got behind me. So what do I do?

And the wedding count down has begun on Facebook - I should un-friend Breezy but I'm afraid to make a move she will interpret as hostile and react the way she has in the past. Not so much for me as for George who knows he's f**ked. He needs all the support he can get, and should Breezy decide to pull a 'Susanna' and mark me as Enemy #1, George has to suffer for it.

I don't want to get sucked in to other people's miseries - I really don't.

April Showers

Amazingly, March is gone and April has started. It's been three years today that I lost my beautiful Cujo Kitten - I miss her every day.

Got a surprise Facebook message from Susanna Wednesday. I'm not sure it wasn't an April Fool joke - it was short but said she wanted me to know that she loves me. Sounds like a joke, doesn't it? She, who has ignored me for almost two years (except for the occasional hate email) suddenly sending a sweet note? I responded today, saying I just want her to be happy and if us not having a relationship makes her happy, then that's the way it's gotta be.

And how did she send a Facebook message when we aren't friends? Didn't know you could do that.

I told George I wasn't going to his wedding. He was disappointed but said he understood. He said 70% of the invited guests have declined. Very few people on his side think it's a good idea - in fact, no one on his side thinks it's a good idea! But he's going to do it. Gotta do what you gotta do to be happy (though he will be miserable until she leaves with Piper and takes half his house in the process - and we all know it's going to happen.) She doesn't know I won't be in attendance - I assume as soon as she finds out she will decide I'm not a good influence on Piper and try to keep her away from me. Which is fine - I'm good at playing that game!

Adrea's Come-To-Jesus Meeting

After numerous requests from both me and Shawn to clean her pigsty of a room with only the courteous' of 'I know' and no follow-up action, I wrote her a letter. A straight forward letter letting her know that we are done with the disrespect she shows us in dismissing our simple request. I gave her about 24 hours to get her room operating-room clean or I would do it, with the consequence of her stuff just being tossed out. And I suggested if she wanted to live like that, she was welcome to do so in her own apartment.

Her room has never looked cleaner.

Sometimes you just have to put in writing what you want to say. She can dismiss your conversations all she wants but when it's on paper, there's not a lot of excuses other than "I can't read", and I know she can.

Another One Gone

We are burying Uncle Tom this morning. He died Tuesday, after living with MS for close to 25 years. The parents' generation is quickly dissolving - two uncles and one aunt left. Then it's my generation's turn. That scares me beyond reasoning.

I've been thinking of Mom and Dad all week - next Thursday will be the 14th anniversary of Mom's death and Dad's 5th is coming up in May. Aunt Bobbie was right those many years ago when she told me in the limo on the way to the church for Mom's funeral Mass that you miss your parents every day of your life. I truly do.

Oz - The Great and Powerful

Shawn and I went to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz! Well, the new Oz movie, that is. It was fabulous! I might go see it again tomorrow - only in 3D. Some of the scenes looked like they would be real fun in 3D mode. That is one DVD going in my collection! And it might make for a good Christmas gift for someone, too. Maybe the movie along with the books. Something to keep in mind!

Family Drama

So Tom sent an email to the family at large telling everyone how hard they've had it for the last 7 years. They are out of money, out of time and out of hope. Michael is locked away till the end of April, Ana is pregnant, Andrea is starting to slack again in school and the only positive thing they could say about Alex is he's going to be an Eagle Scout (which is more Kathey's accomplishment than his.) That is one messed up family.

I've been trying to find the courage to ask Shawn a question all day - I never did. I guess maybe on Wednesday. I have to ask him if he's thinking about divorce and, if so, what stage he's in - eminent, inevitable or eventually. I am almost to inevitable. I just don't know how much longer I can hang on with his drinking - it's getting worse month by month. And the one thing I can count on when he's drunk is that he will be unpredictable and that's not a good thing to count on. I'm pretty sure he will tell me that, yes, he is thinking about it.

George is going to go thru with the marriage 'for Piper's sake' though I told him Piper needs a stressfree environment and if that means separate houses for Mom and Dad, then that's what it means. But he is so obsessed with that child that he is going to do whatever he needs to to keep her in his day-to-day life. He keeps saying he wants to do what's best for Piper but the truth is, he wants to do what's best for him, and having Piper with him every day is best for him, regardless of the condition of the home life. To be honest, he's going to have a real hard time sending her to school when the time comes. He is pulling a 'John.'

Mo and Curly's birthday is next week - they will be four. Can't believe it's only been three four. I can't say anything to Shawn about it because he will respond, 'well, they are old enough to fend for themselves' and he'll dump them in a field some place. So, I will have a quiet celebration when he's not looking. Sad that I have to do that.