I am struggling with work - actually had a letter rejected back to me today; only the second one I can recall this year. Unfortunately, all it takes is one to ruin your stats for the quarter. There will be no big bonus for me this year - I'll be lucky to hold on to my job. I am just getting overwhelmed with management's expectations. No matter how hard we work, how well we work and how much we work, they are always telling us they expect more. I'm not a machine - I will break.

Dan and the girls are heading this way next week and will be here on Friday for a few days before they go to a Dude Ranch. Then they will be back for probably a week or so after that. I actually managed to take a few days off for the period they will be here so maybe we can go to the Zoo. I'm going to get Starlight tickets for Peter Pan, too. Not sure what else we'll do and I think they plan on going to visit John for a few days, too.

The trust/estate is going slowly but surely. Work on the mold removal begins tomorrow. We are still waiting for an estimate on the roof. TSP called me (finally) and will get forms out to everyone as soon as I get them every one's Social Security numbers, which Shawn is going to fax out for me tomorrow. I have absolutely no idea how much is in the thrift savings plan so I've no idea what to expect from them. The attorney is looking in to what we need to do to get the estate stuff handled (to probate or not to probate - that is the question!) What are the chances I'll have this all done by the end of the year?

live-in mess

So, last week-end was going well - had Shawn in Columbia at a cute little hotel, Stoney Creek Inn. We were getting ready for Saturday when Tom called. Apparently, Andrea had 'guests' for the night. Instantly ruined our week-end as Shawn couldn't stop thinking about who might have been given access to our home. Although we tried to enjoy the winery and the dinner train, we ended up leaving very early Sunday morning to get home as quickly as we could.

Turns out Andrea had two boys stay over Friday night, during which she had sex with one (breaking our agreement about no boys upstairs) while leaving the other to his own devices. There were trust and estate documents all over the dining room table, personal bank documents on the kitchen counter, and since she took one upstairs she also escorted him to my office where there is plenty of client information. THEN, after her father caught her with these two guys, she thought it was fine to have them over AGAIN Saturday night!!! I felt totally violated, like I had two intruders living in my home for the week-end. When Andrea said she was going to come clean, she tried to still deny the sex until I looked her in the eye and told her to think very hard about what she was about to say because we already knew the answer (found a used condom in her trash). So even when she was 'coming clean', she was lying. So the trust is gone. Probably against our better judgement, we agreed to give her a second chance - so you know she's thinking that since we had originally said no second chances and we were breaking that, that she could 'convince' us to give her additional chances in the future. We won't.

I was forced to spend $100 for a filing box for all the trust/estate docs and keep them in my office, a locking filing cabinet for the work documents and a new door handle with a lock and key. And when we go out of town, aka in October, she will not be allowed to stay here. She will have to find some place else for that time frame. Disappointed to say the least - we offer her a free safe place to stay with very few rules, we don't ask her where she's going or when she will be back, there are no chores for her to do... and she pays us back by breaking our agreement the very first chance she gets.

Other news; George wants to buy the folks' house. We have to get the mold out and the roof repaired for any mortgage company to OK a mortgage so that's going to adjust the cost of the house - something I havent' talked to him about yet. But those are the two items that have prevented it from selling. Fix it and we could possibly sell the house to someone else for more. So, I have to ask more from George. he won't be pleased - but I have to think about everyone, not just me and George. Charlie could use the money, Tom needs the money, Dan wants to add to the girls' LQ accounts, and the Jackass probably is due a new computer. I have to keep their interest in mind when I sell the house.

Lfe Sucks

My heart is breaking again. Tucker's kidneys are shutting down - just like Cujo. I don't know how much longer I will get to keep him. Just now five and his life is coming to an end. Unbelievable. I can't stop crying. My baby boy Tucker Martini Hunt-Weissenbach.

Andrea has moved in. We will see how it goes.

Bailey has moved in. There's no turning back now.

Dan has left.

Life sucks.

Just an Update

We've agreed to let Andrea stay with us this summer - we will see if it's a good fit and still a necessity in the fall. I hope she is serious about getting back on the right track and isn't just playing us. If she is serious, I think we will be a big help as a halfway house of sorts. If she is just telling us what she thinks we want to hear without intention of making changes, then she won't last the summer with us. No three-strike rule with us - it's a one-and-you're-done rule here.

Uncle Gene dropped by yesterday for a visit. He's in town to visit mostly his sister but also his siblings-in-law. He said Sister Helen is slowing down, confined to a wheelchair and suffering memory loss. She was always such an independent and vitalized woman, it's sad to hear of her deterioration. She's 86, I believe - maybe a year or two older. Old enough for everyone to agree she lived a long and fruitful life.

This has been a Piper Shae week-end - I've had Piper since Friday evening and she won't be picked up till late tonight. What a charmer she is! I was hoping to take her to the pool today but decided the water would be too cold (the in-law's haven't turned on the heater to the pool.) Maybe next time she stays and plays.

Working my way through the trust, though I have so much further to go. This week I HAVE to find someone who does signature guarantees so I can get the Oppenheimer account reregistered. And I have to make an appointment with an attorney so I can get the personal rep appointment handled. The house isn't selling, no one is even looking at it, and Dan is out in two weeks. George has been told he needs to go, too. Once the house is empty, I'm going to have to take on the added responsiblity of caring for it and paying the utilities. Like I don't have enough to do. No one is going to help me - and the house isn't going to sell for a long time. I could be making trips out there for years. The guys need to pay for a nice vacation for me when all is said and done; I deserve one!

It's been awhile since my last blog. Lots to report so sit back and soak it all in!

George's wedding is off. He found sext messages between Breezy and a friend in his Pirate Band. He is very angry - however, he is incapable of taking control of his life and making whatever changes need to be made to help him resolve his anger. Breezy is still living at the house, George (and Breezy) are still touring with the Pirates... nothing like playing the martyr!

I've gone through a lot of training at work and am now processing from two queues and writing emails. On top of letters. With more training to come. Guess the training will help me hold on to my job but.... my brain is pretty much at it's maximum capacity. Work is work, nothing fun left about it.

Charlie and Tom both finally officially resigned as trustee so I am dealing with the whole trust. Figures, I have a job and now have to be trustee while the other two don't have jobs and refuse to be trustee. I've got things going but I have a feeling I'm going to have to drain the checking account to repay Charlie for covering last year's property tax and Dan's out-of-pocket to clean up the mess of a house, I'll have to visit an attorney to make sure there's nothing else I need to do with regard to taking over trusteeship and deal with getting appointed executor for the non-trust items (again, Charlie then Tom are suppose to be executor but neither have done anything to do so), and pay a CPA to file all the late taxes and pay any tax and penalties. And get the dang house sold. Lots to do.

Dan is leaving at the end of the month. We have to have George out of the house, too, because he and Breezy are incapable of maintaining the house so we can show it. Which means I will have to start making runs over there to ensure all is well, start paying the utility bills, get the lawn cut and bail out the basement every time it rains. More work for me. But of course no one will see that - all they will see is me kicking George out of the house and stalling on dissolving the trust and sending out checks.

Can life get any better? I think not.

Not Much To Report

So, Del and Gayle are taking Scott and family to Disney World on Thursday - without me. It's been driving me insane knowing family is going and I'm not included. I just need them to go and get it done with; then maybe I'll get past this obsession.

Shawn and I are in talks to go to New Orleans late April. I took the time off but he has not. Chances are very good he won't - he promised to take time off to go to Arizona but reneged. He said he would take time off to go to Disney with his family but didn't. He won't take April off, either. Maybe I'll find someone else to go with me. Don't know who, though.

Breezy is pregnant again. Looks like maybe another October baby. I'm thrilled for them of course, but what in God's name were they thinking? George can't support himself - and now he's going to be expected to support a family of four? They are going to be homeless in a few months (I think we've all agreed they need to be out of the house by the time Dan goes to D.C.) No idea what they are going to do - and I can't let it get to me. He's a big boy - he will have to figure it out.

Happy Valentine's Day

So, Shawn told me over dinner Friday night that it's his fault our love life is non-existent and he doesn't miss it. I was totally devastated - he doesn't miss it? Really?

This Sunday I'm making plans in my final attempt to reconnect with him before insisting we get some help. A nice lunch (haven't decided where), a concert of the Vienna Boys Club (at the Lansing High School - gotta get tickets tomorrow) and a chocolate-tasting at home in front of the fireplace with a bottle of Aste Spumonti. If we go to bed and to sleep after that, then I fear we might be heading in the direction of ending this relationship. I already have enough brothers - I want a husband.

He did come home tonight with a dozen roses and a heart-shaped box of Hershey's chocolates. That was nice. I had a heart-shaped box of turtle candies on his pillow - he found them when he went to change out of his work clothes. He seemed to appreciate that gesture as well.

But where has the romance gone? What happened to the passion? Please, no more granny kisses!