End of Year Thoughts

So, it looks like the end of the year is here. Tomorrow night we'll be ringing in 2010 and all the challenges it will bring. I think it's going to be a big year for me - hopefully a trip to Greece, frighteningly a knee -replacement, challengingly a big weight loss. I am more than a little nervous about the year - but what can I do? I can't decide not to head into it!

This year has been full of more good-byes. Or at least, good-byes to my cats. I lost three of them this year; Mysterious Charmin, Larry Bird and Tiger Lily. At least I know Tiger Lily is OK and happy - the two boys I can only pray for. Hopefully I'll be able to hold on to Cujo, Tucker, Curly and Mo! I intend to do my best.

Well, I guess I'll log off now and go read for a bit. Here's hoping 2010 is full of good things and scarce of bad things. And that I can weather all of it.

13 years

So it was 13 years ago yesterday that I lost my Princess Leia Hunt. I miss her as much today as I did 13 years ago. I am now surrounded by cats - I wonder what she would make of that! She never had much use for cats, but I find them entertaining.

I called in sick today - and I am! I've been sick since Wednesday evening with this horrid cough that I get. Friday it came with a fever, too. I'll work tomorrow but I'm not sure how much I'll get done. I predict I'll be too busy coughing to get very many letters done. I'm sure I picked this up last week-end when Charlie and I took the girls out. Either from the concert hall or the restaurant. Remind me to use hand sanitizer!!! It is miserable to be sick the week of Christmas.

I'm going to have to make my new year resolutions soon. I failed them miserably this year. The resolutions will be the same as always - lose weight, pay down bills and plump up savings, more couple time with Shawn. And none of it will happen - well, maybe the weight because I would be insane to go into my summer surgery overweight and with high blood pressure. Just once I would like to have a new year resolution that calls for more traveling, belly laughs and indulgences. Only if I ever win a big lottery!

Christmas Ready

Ready for Christmas... almost! I think all I have left is to get the cards addressed and mailed - and the Christmas letter printed somewhere as my printer has all but died on me. THEN I should be all ready (done!) for Christmas! Today I got packages in the mail for John and Dan and cookies baked for Charlie and George. Trees are up (though Curly is trying his best to take the main one down!) and the gifts are purchased and wrapped.

Tomorrow Charlie and I are taking Fifi, Emmi and Krissy to the KC Symphony's Christmas Show - kid friendly. Then we'll dine on the Plaza and catch a Cinderella Carriage ride around the Christmas-lit Plaza. And hopefully we'll all be in our homes again by 7:00!

I'm toying with the idea of inviting Tom and his family over next week-end. He's hinted at coming but I would love to have a three-day week-end (I have that Friday off, too) all to myself. I have an email draft going but I don't know if it will ever get sent! It's a lot of work to have them over.

Little Girl Lost

I'm having a difficult time - Shawn gave Tiger Lily away a few weeks ago. He says he's seen her since her 'move' and she's now roosting her new nest but I miss her like crazy. He is still threatening to give away one or two more - I am working so hard to make his life so easy that he doesn't carry through on the threat. And I've been keeping the cats out of his way - they are either in the basement or outside almost the entire time he's home. And I am mopping the basement every week, sprinkling deodorizer in the litter boxes, spraying the areas around the litter boxes with Lysol, washing the cat blankies - anything I can think of to keep the scent of kitty at bay. But I also know that he will get drunk one night, come home, start yelling at me again and give up another cat. It really is inevitable. I don't know why I stay with him - yes I do. I stay because of credit card debt and fear. I really need Charlie to liquidate Dad's estate so I can get my inheritance, pay off my credit cards and be one step closer to being able to live life without Shawn. Sometimes love isn't enough; sometimes the emotional and mental abuse outweighs the love. I deserve to live at least part of my life without wondering when the next drunk will tell me I'm worthless and lazy. My childhood was spent with drunk parents, my working years are being spent with a drunk husband - do I really have to spend my twilight years with a drunk, too?

Trick-or-Treat!

Had a great Halloween! Shawn and I went to Tom's welcome home party - Tom looks great. He says he lost about 50 pounds while in Iraq. I wonder if I'm too old to 'list up and ship out!

Then I picked up the girls and we set up the Haunted Gazebo, which Felicia manned for the night - handing out all the give-away candy and some of my family-only candy. She even took the whole thing down at the end of the night! All I have to do is take down the outside lights and pack everything up for the year. That was a nice surprise!

I was getting ready to take Emmi and Krissy door-to-door when John called. They had come in for Tom's party and wondered if I was taking kids trick-or-treating. They ended up joining us so I had even MORE fun with David, Matthew and Allyson! Diane stayed behind and kept Fifi company so even she wasn't alone. It was a beautiful night, the kids were out in force and most of the houses had on porch lights. It was a fab night!

Now it's on to planning for Thanksgiving!

Holiday

Well, part of my vacation went fine - the important part. But the trip to Hermann was horrid and it was my own fault. I was so concerned that Wendy wasn't having a good time that I way overdid it, got sick over everything and spent most of the week-end hiding out in the bedroom (while the bed spun). I won't be showing my face in that town for many years to come. I am so humiliated.

The trip to Disney went a lot better. I had a fabulous time, as did Shawn and his parents. They were fine with the downsized resort and LOVED the meal plan. We did pretty much everything we wanted to do, including going 400 feet up in a balloon. Our room the first night wasn't ready when we got there, or for the five hours following. We cheated and tried our room key (we knew what room was ours as we had an adjoining one with Shawn's folks) and found it in disarray. When we were finally given the OK to go to the room, it was STILL in disarray, with the nightstand on one bed, the phone and papers on the other bed and a dehumidifier (or something) on the table. Shawn was very upset and called the desk yelling at them. It was funny to listen to; he said he was very angry, we had been waiting for hours for the room and it was a mess when we got in. "There's this thing that looks like a bomb on the table!" When he threw in 'And it's my anniversary' I had to leave the room - I was laughing so much! We got a free night stay and a small bouquet of balloons saying, Happy Anniversary! I kept the balloons for the scrapbook. We'll laugh every time we look at them! Other than that, we had great service and a fab time. And I've had my Disney fix for awhile!

Apple Pie

I baked my first apple pie of the season today. Sweet yumminess! Now I have to either find someone to help me eat it or I eat the whole thing and get even fatter! Shawn may have one slice but that will be all he'll eat. Now if it was a pecan pie, that would be a horse of a different color!

Two weeks from tomorrow we'll be heading to Disney. Sometimes I really worry about my addiction to Disney World. For the money we are spending on going, we could have had a real nice trip someplace else, too. Someplace that would be new to us. But we keep getting drawn back to the Mouse. I wonder why that is.

Today is Charlie's birthday - big 4-0. If the Little Kids are starting to turn 40, I'm in some real trouble! That means 50 is just around the corner for me. I think 50 will be the last decade I'm fairly confident I'll see all the way through. And that's scary.

Just got my blood work results back from the life insurance folks. Everything is fine except my dumb triglyceride level. I just can't seem to get that down. I can't believe I am so addicted to sugar. I can't seem to stop eating the stuff, be it in candy or white bread/pasta/cereal. I'm heading into a storm and I can't seem to force myself to change course. I don't know what to do. I could try eating the way Shawn does but his cholesterol is high so that's no good, either. I wonder if some of my issue is a family trait. Sucks.

Count Down

I am counting down the weeks till my next Disney trip! Just over three of 'em left. I am so ready for some fun and relaxation, although I doubt there will be a lot of relaxation with the Weissenbachs! They are all go-go-go. That's OK - there will still be the fun!

OK, so now I'm trying the Special K diet. They state that you can lose a dress size in two weeks - that's about ten pounds. Ten pounds in two weeks?!?! I thought I would test it out, and I've been very faithful to the diet (so it's only been three days - that's a start!) Even if it only works for that initial two-week period, if I can go to Disney ten pounds lighter, that would be fabulous! I wouldn't be so self-conscious about being in a swimsuit. I have my doubt about the plan but... what the heck - I like Special K well enough and so far my ears haven't started their diet-popping. I am hungry, though!

Did I mention I'm well into my Christmas shopping? Got all the Weissenbach kids done, most of Susanna's girls' things (still need to get their ornaments and drawing pads and colors), a few gifts for Shawn and a few for Charlie. And Dan's girls, just need their ornaments, too. So I have a few more for Shawn, maybe one more for Charlie, ALL of George, ALL the Hunt kids' ornaments and Shawn's folks. So maybe I'm halfway there.

Almost Lost Another One

Maybe cats don't like my house. I had to go hunt down Mo-Mo Sockie this morning when he disappeared. Found him at the end of the street, or rather he found me. I called and called and he finally came up from the wooded area meowing and panting. I carried him home, he slept for several hours, I let him and Curly Monkey out back and Mo took off again! I called and called, walked the street for him - nothing. I thought I had lost another kitten. On my way upstairs after dark, I glanced out the front door and saw him roaming the street. Tiger Lily was out there, too, so I assume he was hanging with his Mama. I opened the door and Tiger Lily came running in but Mo wasn't in as much of a hurry. I had to go get him... again! He's not going out tomorrow! I can't take the stress.

I have about half my Christmas shopping already done. Granted none of it is big stuff, but it's stuff I can wrap and make people feel special and that's what it's all about, right? I need to still get the Hunt kids' ornaments and a few things for Shawn (and George, I need to get him) but otherwise I think I'm done. Now I just have to wait for it all to show up at the door (I ordered everything online!) It's a good start!

I told Tom I am not in a position to host any kind of welcome home party for him. I can't afford to rent a hall and I'm not sure holding a gathering outside on October 31 is really a smart idea. He said not to worry about it - he would have Kathey check into getting their church hall. Aunt Bobbie wondered why he wanted a party at all - I assume it's for the attention. Look what a good citizen I am, going off to war. Come worship me. I think it's probably a bit inappropriate to have a big party when one of his kids is in lock-up and another is facing assault charges. He should be more focused on getting his family in order rather than getting accolades. But, who am I?

Lots of News

Shawn let Larry Bird out the front door. He promptly disappeared. Breaks my heart to have lost another one, and so young. He can't fend for himself so he's either dead or has been taken in by a kind soul. I'm hoping for the kind soul.

Ana has been removed permanently from the home. One down - three to go before Kathey is free of her parental responsibility. She's apparently honed in on Alex next - had him arrested for assault last week. What did he do, hit his brother? And instead of being a parent, Kathey was a 'concerned citizen' and called police to deal with it. Interestingly, Ana and Alex have the same birth father and are more ethnic-looking than Andrea and Miguel. Kathey has a prejudice among the kids. After Alex is locked away, Andrea better start packing her bags as I'm sure she'll be next. Tom keeps asking for prayers for his family. I can only pray for the kids, that they survive their childhoods and enter adulthood still able to dream and plan. Screw the 'family' thing.

Took Susanna's girls to the Renaissance on Saturday and spent a bundle. But they had fun (as did I) so it was worth it. I won't see them again until next month so that's all good. Once a month works for me.

Yesterday Shawn and I went to the KC Zoo and walked the whole thing! I was ready to die at the end and Shawn hadn't even noticed the distance. I was also sweating like a sweathog while Shawn didn't break a sweat at all. So unfair. He looked cool as a cucumber and I looked like I had just been dragged out of the creek! But it was an enjoyable day all the same.

Disney Training

So, I've gone into training for my Disney trip. A few days ago Shawn and I went walking somewhere and I almost didn't make it - and it wasn't a long walk. I realized that even with the help of prednisone, I was going to have a hard time of it in Disney. So I decided to go into training. With about seven weeks, I should be able to build my stamina a bit. I put eight activities into a bag (walk around the neighborhood, longer walk around the neighborhood, longest walk around the neighborhood, walk through the non-existence strip mall, two trips to the gym, two 20-minute walks on the treadmill at home, an aerobic DVD and a 'break day') and every day I pull an activity to do. It's only Day 4 but I've done it every day this week. It's a start. So, with a seven-week training program (which also includes stretching at Noon), and prednisone, I might actually survive the trip (physically).

I got my hair chopped off last week - chopped and colored. It's way shorter than I wanted (and the idiot layered it! You don't layer curly hair!!) and much darker than I wanted (not the color we had agreed on!) I don't know if I like it enough. The cut is OK but the color is throwing me every time I look in the mirror. Maybe I just need to adjust. It should grow out enough by May so I can have it trimmed up and colored lighter - before we head to Greece. One thing is for sure; I won't have to try to remember what Disney trip I was on while looking at these pictures. 'Oh, yeah, that was the year I chopped off my hair and colored it brownish-red!'

Fab Dream - No So Much Fab Reality

So I had a wonderful dream last night about Shawn. I had to choose between him and some 'shadow' guy that wanted me. I realized it was no contest. So I am dressed in white, waiting on the deck of a boat (?) hoping Shawn will come for me. And he does, dressed in a white naval uniform. He doesn't say anything, just grabs me and gives me a very passionate kiss. It was a great dream and when I woke up, I just wanted that feeling of being loved by him to continue. So as I showered, I decided I was going to give him a passionate morning kiss (he was already downstairs) and treat him to an afternoon movie. I got dressed, fixed my hair and makeup and went downstairs.... where I was greeted with 'I found a pee stain on the carpet, those kittens knocked over a plant and made a mess, you need to find the paint for the bathroom and touch up an area, the cat waterdish can't stay in the bathroom, and the basement is a mess.' No good morning, much less a good morning kiss, passionate or otherwise. I just hightailed it to the basement where I spent an hour cleaning up the scrapbook mess we made (it's SCRAPbook; there are going to be scraps of paper!) By the time I was done, my makeup was smeared, my hair was in disarray and my dream of Shawn was long gone. Within three minutes of my going downstairs, he had set the tone for the day - and it wasn't sounding good. So instead of a fun rainy day with my husband, I will be hiding in the basement or the bedroom or here on the computer until he goes to play poker. I knew I should have just stayed in bed.

Night-Loving Nightmare

Ana was suppose to spend the night last night but I never heard back from my attempts to contact Kathey - so no Ana. However, I did have Felicia, Emily and Kristen. Most of the event was fun and productive - but those kids don't sleep at night. Krissy slept from 12:15 to 4:00, Emily from 12:45 to 3:00 and Felicia from 5:00 to 8:00. I got about three hours of VERY interrupted sleep! Then as the sun started peeking out, the girls decided it was time to go to sleep. I wasn't having any of that! I yanked their sorry tushes out of bed, threw them all through the shower/tub, got them breakfast and off we went to the park before it got too hot. We also scrap booked both last night and this morning and hit McDonalds on the way home. Krissy actually fell asleep at McDonalds. That will teach them. At least I know have a year before they sleep over again!

I don't know what got into me, but I looked up Hanz on Facebook - and I think I found him! Spelled 'Hans' now (though he once told me that's how he spelled it until the military checked his birth certificate and found the nurse had misspelled it on the certificate), the guy lives in San Fran and, though I couldn't access his Facebook wall, I did look through his friends list and a lot of them are in the Philippines. But his profile picture is of a guy's back, pointing off in the distance. All I really wanted was to see what he looked like and all it has is a back! And now I feel kind of guilty for looking him up at all. (And I know I'll look him up again to see if he changes his picture to a front image.) Blast from the past. I blame it on George having his 20th high school reunion this week-end and my upcoming birthday. Has me thinking of my younger years. I would never actually contact the guy (not looking like this!!)

Older in Lawrence

Shawn and I went to Lawrence this afternoon. I have gotten older and everyone in Lawrence has gotten younger. I could barely manage to walk Massachusetts Street. Some of it was the heat (95) but most of it was my physical condition. I can't do this anymore. I have got to get it together. There's no way I'm going to make it through Disney World in this shape, and we leave in two months. I have made the commitment to hit the gym every day until we go, slowly working my way up on the time spent on the treadmill. I realize the prednisone will aid in my vacation, but it can't do it all. I have to get off 10 pounds and get in some semblance of shape before we get on the plane. The trip is going to cost way too much to not be able to enjoy it and keep up with everyone. I can't believe I've allowed myself to get this bad. I am serious - I am in bad shape. BAD SHAPE!

Narnia!

I took the girls to Union Station today. We went through the Narnia exhibit and Science City, then crossed over to Crown Center where we had dinner at Fritz's (I think), where the food is served by model trains. We had a real grand time, the girls loved every second of it, it wasn't too expensive ($100 for everything - tickets, food, souvenirs and gas) and we all walked (or limped!) away totally spent and happy. It was nice to be able to treat them to such a day.

I found out they are about to lose cable (again) so instead of enrolling Felicia in the Leavenworth virtual school program, they are 'creating their own curriculum' again. I don't understand how parents who love their child could set her up for a miserable life. She will never pass a GED (which she will need to take if she doesn't graduate from an accredited school), she will convince herself she doesn't need any type of diploma, and she will end up living her mother's life. How can you do that to a child you love and care about? I don't understand it. I will continue to put away in her 529 plan but don't expect her to ever have need for it. I can't even begin to describe how disappointed, angry, shocked, appalled, etc I am over Susanna. Krissy is only 4 so there are many years left of my having to deal with my sister if I want to maintain a relationship with my nieces, but once Krissy has been destroyed, I will have no more contact with Susanna. I truly am finished with her.

Concert in the Park

Shawn and I met up with Todd and Wendy at the free concert downtown. It was a nice evening... and mostly free (Shawn had a few beers and a hotdog so we didn't get off scott-free!) With our Disney trip booked and costing more than we had originally expected (Shawn added a day), we need all the free and almost-free things we can find from now till then!

I FINALLY got my photo program running and the pictures in the computer. I even managed to post some to my Facebook page and send an album of the February Disney trip to family. Only took 5 months! Now we'll see if I can add more to my program without deleting the first set of pictures! Since I'll be using the same memory chip, I wonder if ALL the pictures will be inserted when I upload more photos or if I can somehow select where on the chip to start uploading from. Guess when I get enough new pictures, I'll find out!

Speaking of Facebook, it's kind of addictive. I find myself checking it a few times a day. That's not good. I need to get it in perspective before I get lost in it.

Knocked Up

Augh! I am pretty sure Tiger Lily was gang-raped yesterday. I tried to save her from the two male cats that were cornering her but she just ran... and they ran after her. She finally came home this evening after being gone since Saturday night. And Tucker and the kittens are sniffing her backside, smelling something 'odd'. I failed her. Tomorrow I'll call the vet to see if they can 'make it right' for her. God, I'm a lousy cat-parent. I try so hard to take care of them and I just seem to fail over and over again. She came home ravenous and I'm sure she's going to sleep for a long time once she stops eating. Or maybe she'll eat in her sleep. Who knows. And to top it all off, I'm in desperate need of kitty litter. One box probably won't cover what I need. Have I mentioned I suck as a cat-parent?

Tom's Respite

So we are suppose to relieve Kathey of her children every week-end for the rest of the year - yeah, that didn't go down so well. They have reworked their plan after 'feedback' and they are now asking for 8-8 every other Saturday for all the kids. I signed up for four week-ends with Ana, including two overnights. I guess I'm suppose to start tomorrow but I don't know if I'm doing the chauffeuring or if Kathey is. I suspect it's me. That's fine, then it will be more like 9:30-6:30! Show Kathey what it's like to never be timely!

I'm going to take Ana and Susanna's girls to the pool for the afternoon (let's hope it doesn't rain!) and then to Long A&W for lunch. It should be a fun enough day, and not one that involves chasing Ana off the computer (which she won't be allowed on anyway.)

I'm slowly piecing together a will via the Suze Orman web site. It's not exactly easy. The trust is going to be even more of a challenge. And getting Shawn to do his stuff will be nearly impossible. But I'm determined to get some stuff done this month.

It Takes a Village --Not!

The latest crazy from Tom - he wants people to take his daughters every week-end from Friday afternoon to Sunday morning (which means Sunday evening) and the boys 8-8 Saturdays for the rest of the year! So they can get a break from Mom. Right, it's so Kathey can sit around all week-end eating bonbons and watching porn (or whatever she does all day while they are in school). How would being away from your stuff and your friends EVERY week-end for 6 months benefit the kids? I had already decided to decline the invitation to have my life disrupted so Kathey can play before I mentioned it to Shawn, who went ballistic over the idea. Kathey needs to get therapy for her issues and a few drugs into her system and buck up and be a parent. Or she needs to relinquish her rights and put the kids back up for adoption. She is ruining their lives and encroaching on everyone else's. You don't parent by calling the cops and shipping your kids out every chance you get. But Tom is more concerned about Kathey's mind frame than the kids' health and safety. This time I am not bailing them out. It's time for her to grow up.

Happy Birthday Fifi

15 years ago tomorrow my first niece entered my life and things would never be the same. I took said niece, Felicia (aka feeshamree) and her 'boy' friend Cayden out this afternoon. First we headed to the arcade where they played games and I read my book. Then we went to the movies; Transformers II. Finally we ended up at IHOP for yummy breakfast-for-dinner. I think they had a fun time - I know I did. And the cost wasn't THAT bad.

Tom sent an email saying Ana is home again. I wonder if Kathey learned her lesson about relying on the cops to handle parental issues. Probably not; she will probably call the police the next time she feels Ana is out of control or misbehaving. Those poor kids - they are doomed until they turn 18 and can bail out on Tom and Kathey.

I stayed up too late last night drinking wine with Shawn and had a busy day today with Felicia so I'm heading to bed. How old I've gotten!!

Losing Ana

Apparently, Kathey has called the police enough times on Ana that they removed her from the home last week. Every time Ana did something Kathey deemed dangerous to herself or others (like throwing a temper tantrum) Kathey dealt with it by calling the authorities. She found out Ana had been posting nude pictures of herself on the Internet (not good but a huge fad with teens) and rather than deal with it like a parent, she called the cops. Ana is now in the hands of the court and she may or may not return home. Kathey has destroyed her. And she didn't seem at all concerned last week-end during the birthday party for the boys. Ana's life is destroyed, Tom is in danger of getting foolish in a war zone as he worries about Ana, the other kids, particularly Andrea, are in danger of being the next on Kathey's enemy list... that family is totally screwed.

Then Charlie sends a text message to me and George a few nights back (after several drinks I'm sure) saying he can't get rid of Mom's and Dad's ghosts and he quits the trusteeship. Which is fine if he does (only it creates more trouble for Tom as he's next in line and will have to resign as well). I think I'm third in line so I can take care of the estate...finally. No judgement on Charlie - he doesn't have the support I have or the time I have to really deal with it all. Shawn will help me get it all taken care of in a few months. Even though it will mean telling George he has to move out so we can sell the house and contents. I think George is ready for it.

What a fun family I belong to!

Birthday Boys

I took Susanna's girls to Tom's for his sons' birthday party. Conspicuously missing was Ana - and when I asked where she was, the only response I got from Mommy Dearest was, 'she won't be attending.' Which means she's been locked up somewhere again. I am getting closer and closer to calling SRS on her. I watched her real close this afternoon and saw an almost bipolar person. She went from screaming at a birthday boy to gleefully shoving his face (with his permission) into his birthday cake. She is truly a nut case. George thinks she may have another tumor messing with her personality/emotions; he may be right.

Other than than, the party was fun. I'm glad I decided to go because neither family was well-represented. Kathey's folks and Aunt Karen were there, older brother Dennis and his two kids showed up about 90 minutes after us, a family friend and me and the girls. Family ties are unwinding. So I'm glad I went and represented the Hunts. Although I would have preferred to stay home and sleep and read!

Lock Out

Aren't I the talented one. I managed to lock myself out of the house today. I had to use the neighbor's phone to call and leave a message on Shawn's cell. Once he got it, he called his parents who sent nephew Devin over with what they hoped was the house key... it wasn't. Devin gave me a lift to Dad's where, thankfully, George was and he HAD a key to my house. After feeding me at Homers (first time I had been there since the Susanna blow-out) he brought me home and let me in. He even helped me de-flea the cats! Talk about family backing you up - I got help from both sides today!

I had the day off and allowed myself the luxury of sleeping the morning hours away. Getting locked out kind of put a damper on my plans for the afternoon. I have tomorrow off, too and don't have anything planned until my movie date with Emily. Guess I won't be sleeping in tomorrow if I want to get anything done!

Pandora's Box

Yikes, I think I've opened Pandora's box. I saw my RA doctor today for a semi-annual meet-n-greet. He asked how I was doing and I told him other than my aching knees that I was fine. He said that if you were to look at my blood work, you would never know I had RA so the Orencia is working miracles. But, then he said next month he wants to do a bone density scan (no big deal) and have x-rays of my knees and then 'we'll talk about it.' Crap - I don't want to see what my knees look like, I don't want to hear what my knees look like and I don't want to be told I need to do something about it. I'm not ready to face that monster. I'm not going to be in a good mood after my July's infusion!

I have the rest of this week off. I want to take Emily to her summer movie, Night at the Museum (even though I've seen it already!) I'm waiting for a return email from her parents. Other than that, my plan is to read my Demons and Angels book. I was hoping to see the movie after I finished the book but it looks like the movie is pretty much leaving local theatres Friday and I don't think I'll have the book done by then. Guess I'll have to wait till the DVD hits in the fall.

I'm back on the Weight Watchers diet. Not fun. I had a headache Monday, a headache yesterday and a headache today, though today's went away on it's own. I've lost about 7 pounds but those were the easier just-added pounds. I've a long way to go and four months to get there! And I'll be arriving hungry!

881 Emails Waiting

George was over Thursday night and he FIXED my email! I had 881 emails waiting to be mostly deleted, some read. Wow, it was like rejoining the 21st century. I sent everyone I know an apology email. Aunt Bobbie wanted to know if I was mad at her because I wasn't responding to her emails. That's bad. I hadn't even thought my silence would be interpreted as being angry.

I had Ana here for a few nights. Kathey needed a break (she is always playing the pity card). Ana was fine, though she spent most of her time on the Internet probably getting into trouble. Apparently she had stayed up pretty much all night Thursday and chatted with 'kids' (yeah, right. How many kids are up at 3:30 in the morning?) Glad she's not my kid and I would have to worry about it!

I also had Susanna's girls over this afternoon. Fifi and Emmi hadn't been here since our Disney trip in February and Krissy hadn't been over since September! They managed to trash the house and eat everything in sight. But Felicia bowled a few games of Wii with me and that was fun. I was thrilled when everyone went home. Love them dearly but they stress me out!

Not much more to report. Guess I'll go find something to do. Going to bed sounds like a viable option!

Disneyitis

Looks like I'm heading back to Disney... this year! Shawn wants to go (he hasn't been in four years) and his parents are in (and I'm ALWAYS in!) so we're going to go in October. He's talking about going for a whole week! Never been there that long - we can do things a bit slower. We will stay at the Value resort I took the girls to so we can save some money ($400). We are both very excited - we've been watching old home movies of our past trips and they just manage to get us hyped!

In preparation, I have returned to the Weight Watcher diet. Not going to the meetings - way too much money for my pocket! But I know how to do it and I know it works. I have actually lost 5 pounds (the easy just-put-on 5 pounds but...!) I've made a list of rewards as I go. Every 5 pounds I reward myself with something. This first one gets me two bottles of nailpolish. Nothing big but it will help me stick to it. I had two slices of pizza at the office today (I was starved and the manager was buying!) but I avoided the chocolate-chip cookie AND stayed within my daily points. Something just clicked last week-end and I realized I was ready to do it again. I am NOT going to be fat at Disney! (And it should get me off the blood pressure pills which is more important.)

Still missing Myster. I checked the pound today and there was a cat that looked a lot like him but I didn't see the splash of undercoat on the back (like Myster has) and it's arrival date was before Myster dashed off. I did the Rabbit-Rabbit wish this month and my wish was for him to come home safe and sound by the end of the month. And I remembered to say it the night before and the morning after before saying another word. If that wish works, he will be home in a few weeks. I still continue to ask St. Francis to watch over him.

Little Boy Lost

Shawn was taking Mysterious Charmin to the vet to have him 'fixed' when Myster got out of the carrier and dashed into the woods behind the vet building. We haven't seen him since. I have driven all around the area numerous times but to no avail. I will start checking the pound on Wednesday but I am not holding out much hope. Although the vet's is only about a mile from us, it's across a busy highway and I just don't see Myster as trying to cross that street. All I can do is ask St. Francis to watch over him and send him home if he can. And if he can't come home, I ask that some other fine family take him in and treat him with love and care and give him a good home.

I am going to miss him forever.

Lord of the Rings

Charlie and I saw the KC Symphony last week-end perform The Lord of the Rings. Very good. Since it ended late, I just stayed the night at his house - he said I was his first overnight guest! I think he was pleased to have someone to tend to. And I wasn't visited by any ghosts! Win-win.

Tomorrow I take, or rather Shawn takes, Mysterious to the vet for a snip-snip job. I am so not looking forward to it and I know he's going to be scared, confused and in pain. I will just ask St. Francis to watch over and keep him and I'll make sure to get him as soon as I can in the afternoon so he won't have to stay there any longer than necessary. Poor baby - I know I'm being a responsible pet owner by neutering him but it still breaks my heart. And Tiger Lily still needs to go, once she's dried up (which won't happen until the kittens are removed which won't happen until they find new homes!) I wish there was a less painful, less stressful way to do this. My poor baby Myster.

Shawn's niece, Tara, graduates from High School on Sunday. I can kind of remember my high school graduation. Almost 30 years ago. I never thought I would be this old - I couldn't have imagined it. Yet, here I am. And getting older by the minute!

Whew, been gone awhile. My computer was totally fried and it took months for me to get it fixed. I still can't access my email account. Frustrating!

During the away time, I became 'nanny' to three little kittens, courtesy of Tiger Lily and, I think, Mysterious. They are cuties but I can't keep them. That would make seven cats, and that's too many even for me! Unfortunately, I can't find anyone to take them, either. Shawn has given me till June 1 or he takes them to the pound where they risk being put down. I can't let that happen - I just can't. I will just pray to St. Francis to help me find homes before then.

My trip to Disney with Fifi, Emmi and Abby was fabulous! I was a genius to take Abby as she was the filling between the two Gean girls and kept them from driving each other (and me) nuts. It was a definite time to remember. Unfortunately, I am still not seeing the girls on a regular basis - I just can't allow their parents back into my life. Way too much stress. I told them I would try to get them once a month. We'll see.

Shawn is really struggling at work; the recession has hit the car industry full force. I warned him it was coming but he didn't believe me - he does now. He's been so stressed and he's taking it out on me. I try to keep the home life as calm as possible but sometimes I get frustrated, too. It's not like my job is guaranteed - we had two rounds of layoffs last year and will probably face another one this year. He keeps saying, 'you don't understand the stress I'm under' and refuses to acknowledge that I've got stress, too. If we make it through this recession, we will definitely be stronger for it.

We're fast approaching the first anniversary of Dad's death. I don't know how I feel about it. Sadly, as I had predicted before he even passed, I don't really miss him. He wasn't that much a part of my life, not like Mom was. It's sad that he's gone, but my life didn't really change that much when he left. AND Charlie has so fallen down on the trustee job - he's done nothing to distribute the trust and I think it has to be done by Dad's first death anniversary or it goes to probate. We're be lucky to get anything out of that estate at all. AND George is still living in the house. It's hard to clear out the stuff and sell the house when George is still in it. The whole thing is a total mess.